What comes to mind when you hear “conspiracy theory”? Did Lee Harvey Oswald act alone in the assassination of JFK? What really happened with those sightings in Roswell, New Mexico? Is there more to be told about the 9/11 attacks and the unexpected collapse of the twin towers? Hardly minor, incidental events. But distinct in time and space. Significant, but unrelated. Isolated and unconnected. Conspiracy theories will doggedly persist, new ones birthing with regularity. And something about us seems, at the least, intrigued, perhaps titillated, oddly captivated.
A new form of conspiracy theory seems to be emerging: Is Barack Obama committed to artfully and premeditatedly moving America past the Left into (choose your slogan) fascism or communism? Is the Health Care Bill in a linchpin of that plan? Is the global warming “hoax” still another strategy in the larger plot? Are plans afoot for selective extermination based on ideological positions as a more diabolical piece of the conspiracy puzzle? Smaller conspiracy theories that seem inter-locking, integrally related, composing a single whole?
Is there emerging one, monumental, all-encompassing, SINGLE CONSPIRACY into which all other conspiracies are incorporated, inter-connected and, from that perspective, makes everything make sense – a CONSPIRACY comprising a diabolic “theory of everything”?
Enter the three hamsters and a mole, the unlikely heroes of a movie I watched with my Mexican-American grandson titled G Force. The story line, concise and condensed, but enough to create context: the CEO of the planet’s dominant home appliance manufacturing corporation designs a small but lethal element installed in every appliance – toasters and microwaves, refrigerators and washing machines, entertainment centers and vacuum cleaners – which, when activated by a signal from a satellite, will morph each appliance large or small into indestructible monsters able to wreak havoc and massive destruction worldwide. Meanwhile an offbeat scientist has been training small animals – principally three hamsters and a mole – to infiltrate this conspiracy and thwart its conspirators – learning to communicate in English and master sophisticated computer skills along the way. And his unlikely scheme works! The grand conspiracy is unmasked. In the process the FBI, charged, of course, with protecting us from such threats, mounts an offensive against these critters, who now call themselves the G Force. The FBI not only denies the existence of the grand conspiracy, but attacks those who think otherwise, and know what must be done to defeat them.
How did a reasonable and intelligent adult such as I become so engrossed in a children’s movie? But more than that, this playful movie became a parable, an allegory, a lens through which what has confused me for some time, dare I say it, came crystal clear.
A childhood memory stirred itself into the mix as I was “putting some pieces together.” When our family was first on our street to have TV, daytime coverage was dominated by the McCarthy hearings. Two of my classmates’ fathers were swept into the conspiratorial web that obsessed Joseph McCarthy. A family trip to Florida that year featured immense “Impeach Earl Warren” and “Withdraw from the UN” signs along the highway (not far from “Colored Only” motels and restaurants), a sponsor’s name visible in the lower right corner: John Birch Society. My father explained to me that the John Birch Society believed that a shrouded and diabolical, unknown but powerful circle of men controlled both the United States and the Soviet Union, a worldwide conspiracy with world domination in mind – which made communists of no less than President Dwight Eisenhower. A principle legacy of the John Birch Society may be “grand conspiracy theory” – the first crafting of a “mother of all conspiracies” by which everything, viewed through that lens, makes sense. (And they were co-sponsors at this year’s C-PAC gathering).
Are we witnessing “John Birch revisited,” grand conspiracy theory resurrected? For a week or two, visit right wing talk radio or TV programs. Listen to Sean Hannity or Glen Beck, Rush Limbaugh or Bill O’Reilly, Ann Coulter or Michael Savage (the list goes on). Forest, not just trees. The whole, not just the parts. See if you don’t observe “everything fitting together.” A single, ginormous CONSPIRACY! Health Care reform + the global warming hoax + Obama’s sinister plotting + selective extermination schemes + a naïve citizenry . . . someone has to connect the dots and save us! Elements in kitchen appliances poised for global invasion + FBI collusion + a naïve citizenry . . . the G Force will save us! A small group “in the know” to warn and protect us. One makes as much sense as the other!
